Here are some quotes from television shows and movies that I think are funny. There's so many good ones out there so if I miss a good one just put it in the comments I would love to read it.
(Futurama)
Dr. Zoidberg : This "love" intrigues me. Teach me to fake it.
Solider: Why is this godforsaken hellhole worth dying for?
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Don't ask me. You're the ones who are going to be dying.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Sweet zombie Jesus!
(Big Bang Theory)
Sheldon Copper: Bazinga!
(Super Bad)
Becca: Your cock is so smooth!
Evan: Your's would be too... if you were a man.
Officer Slater: McLovin? Were you violating that young girl? Were you violating her with your penis?
Seth: You know how many foods are shaped like dicks? The best kinds.
(Sex Drive)
Ian: Where do you guys get the confidence to, like, hit on every girl you see?
Randy: Cause we're the shit.
Andy: Yeah, you oughta know that, bitch.
Ian: You don't know my brother, okay? He's gonna fuck my ass with a roll of quarters!
Ezekiel: What? He's gonna what? With what?
Ian: Oh, yeah! He's gonna go get off work early, and he's gonna walk into the bank, stand in line, change a 10, find my ass, and just... fuck it... with a roll of fucking quarters.
Lance: I can't believe I'm banging an Amish chick. I mean, seriously, what are the odds?
(Knocked Up)
Alison Scott: I was drunk!
Ben Stone: Was your vagina drunk?
Alison Scott: Why don't you go FUCK your FUCKING Bong?
Ben Stone: I will! I'll do it doggy style, too! For once!
Ben Stone: You think I'm an inventor? "He created a dick-skin condom, He hollowed out a penis and put it on", what the fuck?
Jonah: I can't believe you didn't fucking wear a bag, WHO DOES THAT?
Jason: Why did we go to Costco and buy a year's supply of condoms if you weren't gonna use 'em, man?
Jonah: I can't believe you did this. You fucked everything up.
Jason: The real point is not to get yourself into this position, that's what you have to realize. You gotta know all the tricks like, for example, if a woman's on top she can't get pregnant. It's just gravity.
Jonah: Well that's true. Everyone knows that.
Jason: What goes up must come down.
(Futurama)
Dr. Zoidberg : This "love" intrigues me. Teach me to fake it.
Solider: Why is this godforsaken hellhole worth dying for?
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Don't ask me. You're the ones who are going to be dying.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Sweet zombie Jesus!
(Big Bang Theory)
Sheldon Copper: Bazinga!
(Super Bad)
Becca: Your cock is so smooth!
Evan: Your's would be too... if you were a man.
Officer Slater: McLovin? Were you violating that young girl? Were you violating her with your penis?
Seth: You know how many foods are shaped like dicks? The best kinds.
(Sex Drive)
Ian: Where do you guys get the confidence to, like, hit on every girl you see?
Randy: Cause we're the shit.
Andy: Yeah, you oughta know that, bitch.
Ian: You don't know my brother, okay? He's gonna fuck my ass with a roll of quarters!
Ezekiel: What? He's gonna what? With what?
Ian: Oh, yeah! He's gonna go get off work early, and he's gonna walk into the bank, stand in line, change a 10, find my ass, and just... fuck it... with a roll of fucking quarters.
Lance: I can't believe I'm banging an Amish chick. I mean, seriously, what are the odds?
(Knocked Up)
Alison Scott: I was drunk!
Ben Stone: Was your vagina drunk?
Alison Scott: Why don't you go FUCK your FUCKING Bong?
Ben Stone: I will! I'll do it doggy style, too! For once!
Ben Stone: You think I'm an inventor? "He created a dick-skin condom, He hollowed out a penis and put it on", what the fuck?
Jonah: I can't believe you didn't fucking wear a bag, WHO DOES THAT?
Jason: Why did we go to Costco and buy a year's supply of condoms if you weren't gonna use 'em, man?
Jonah: I can't believe you did this. You fucked everything up.
Jason: The real point is not to get yourself into this position, that's what you have to realize. You gotta know all the tricks like, for example, if a woman's on top she can't get pregnant. It's just gravity.
Jonah: Well that's true. Everyone knows that.
Jason: What goes up must come down.
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